“Connections” VS “Relationships”…which would you trust more?

By on March 20, 2009 in Article, Newsletter

Recruiting Mavens an e-newsletterWith the ever increasing use of Social Networks as a sourcing and recruitment tool, I am finding more and more comments about the evolving meaning of the word “friends” and the real value of “connections.”  This led me to the question, which resource would people trust more in learning about a possible job and/or business opportunity, a person they are “somehow connected to” or someone they have actually met and have   some “form of a relationship” with?   

I know what has worked for me in the past, so I didn’t have to think it over too long; but just in case you’re mulling that one over, I wanted to provide you with a couple articles and a recent real world scenario that should help bring the point home.  I read an interesting article recently on RecruitingBlogs.com by John Sumser titled, “Digging Into RecruitingBlogs.com” that I am sure a lot of you out there can relate to.  I know I did!  Also, if you like a little professional humor and a lot of truth, you will like a blog posting by Dan Schawbel on PersonalBrandingBlog.com on March 7th titled, “Personal Branding Interview: Nick Corcodilos”

Webinar: Recruit Passive Candidates: Budgets, Referrals, Social Networking

In addition to the articles, I wanted to provide you with a personal anecdote on the value of connections.  I decided for research purposes that I would post a job on a pretty well-known website that shall remain nameless (insert cough “Linkedin”).  I had one person apply from the State of Washington.  With me being in Houston, TX, how surprised do you think I was to see that there were FIVE HUNDRED PEOPLE that he and I were “connected” to within “OUR” network!  Then it got even better.  When I clicked on the network to see who these connections were, I saw immediately that a majority of the connections were ONLY 2 degrees from me.  YIPEE!  With the words of the song “It’s a Small World After All” swimming in my head, I said to myself, “Self, this could not get any better.”  Just then I happened to look over to the right side of the page and it showed a very high- tech diagram of how I was connected to these people.  Double YIPEE!  I actually knew the people in between us.  WOW, this site works, it really, really works.  This was too good to be true, but these must be true and real connections because the site would not have sent me their information, right? (BTW: ALL of their information, as well as the info for people they are connected to, whom they may or may not know…. but I digress and that’s another blog topic) ….this was surely going to be a slam dunk, right?…Not so much!

As I started contacting my contacts to get “introduced” to my 2nd degrees, a funny thing happened along the way.  They didn’t even remotely know how they were connected to these people, much less even know their name, i.e. there was no “relationship,” so there was no value.  But hey, that’s just me.

So, this got me to thinking…hmmmmm…what if someone created a website that truly harnessed the power of human relationships to help make it easier for people  to learn about possible new career opportunities through people they actually know, AND provide them an avenue to get paid for having built such solid and trusted relationships over the years.  After all, what is the one constant about building strong and trusted relationships?  It takes TIME.  And if time is money……hmmmmm?  I guess one can hope, or you can stay tuned…(to be continued). 

 

Eric Beauford

Eric Beauford
TruReferralSM Executive
ebeauford@cachinko.com
Let’s Talk: 713.568.9572

 Feel free to drop me a line or shoot me an email, I’d be happy to share other articles with you or answer any of your questions.

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  • Glenn

    You’re so right that relationships take time. That’s something fewer people have patience for in an era of fast technology and quickie divorce.

    Incidentally, something analogous to the difference between connections and relationships was covered in a recent article in the SF Chronicle. It was about loneliness. It wondered why was it that in a time where you could have 5,000 friends on MySpace/Facebook (or 500+ connections on LinkedIn), people feel lonelier than ever? It spoke to those surveys that say in 1985 most people had at least 2 very close friends they could call in hard times, and now they’re lucky if they even have 1.

    I also attribute this lack of relationship building to the fact that we’ve become far more mobile than before. When you grew up in a neighborhood from birth to retirement, you really got to know everybody. Some of those readily referred you to jobs. Nowadays, I see that in the cities I’ve lived, I could have 200+ fellow tenants in my apartment building and very few know my name even though I’ve extended handshakes to them. By the time we can develop something, they’re gone again to their next 6-to-12 month lease.

    Is online social networking the answer? I don’t know, I have to say I’m very skeptical. Identity theft aside, why would people be willing to refer each other for jobs and have their reputation on the line for someone they’ve never met? Why would they be far more comfortable with that instead of getting to know someone they see day-in day-out exiting and parking in the driveway who’s also going to work?

    P.S. That SF Chron story on loneliness is at http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/03/02/DDDB15VE34.DTL&hw=loneliness&sn=001&sc=1000

  • http://www.cachinko.com Felipe Villasenor

    Great comment. I should tell you that on Cachinko we have “improved” social networking and continue to make it better and more meaningful. Who cares about 2 million friends on LinkedIn, Facebook, or MySpace. How can one know 2 million people, if they don’t even know the people on their block. I read the San Francisco Chron story and it drives the point home. Social networking is important but it needs to be done right and not abused, using the internet as a medium is a huge plus but people get caught up using for insignificant things like browsing people’s photos for hours at a time (this can’t possibly add so many “net” units of happiness to your life). How much important time and human energy is lost (as in waste) using online social networks for something does not add real value to one’s life?

    It may take 10 years for people really to understand how to use online social networks. Earlier today, I was comparing having an inefficient social network of 2+ million friends like having an inefficient gas guzzling car in the 1960-80′s. People now know that gas guzzlers are inefficient and costly.

    How long will it take people to realize that 2+ million friends is inefficient and costly to one’s life? I hope it doesn’t take 30-50 years. As a society, I would hope that we are smarter than that.

  • http://www.IPSsk.com Susan Keehley

    This is a great discussion thread. Thank you for posting your thoughts. I see advantages of quantity and quality contacts. I’m only four months old in the social networking arena, and I admit that I’ve become less inhibited about requesting connections on Linkedin than when I started. I believe my Facebook participation has made me feel that anyone should be approachable. However I do see the value in the Linkedin guidelines because it’s more of a business oriented site. FB is driven by social etiquette, and Linkedin is driven by business etiquette.
    On Linkedin I ignore the invitations from people who look like they are mass marketers. I think they are using the wrong networking service. Facebook has more of a culture built on quantity, and I like that you can follow anyone…ANYONE; your favorite author, your favorite tennis player, favorite artist (as a fan.) It appears to break down any barriers and brings the world together. Finding new people to connect with and reading their profiles, comments, etc is addicting too, but is it worse than sitting in front of a TV for hours?
    I teach workshops that help people understand and acquire business networking skills. I start by defining stages of relationship building, and add that according to our research (Contacts Count program; 17 years of research) it takes about six contacts to get to know someone’s character and competence. Hopefully this is done in person, but social networking sites can help us get to know someone….Help. We wouldn’t want to substitute online communication with person to person communication, I hope. There is research (listed on my website) that shows Americans are getting more shy- will the networking sites feed this trend by encouraging people to hide behind the computer screen?

    Who would we recommend, or not recommend, from a Linkedin contact? Though I have never met Glenn, Eric, or Felipe I sense honesty, intelligence, politeness, and consideration from each. These are characteristics that I would like to see in a candidate, especially since interviewing is not everyone’s strength. How quickly could I really learn about their character and competence and begin to trust them enough to go out on a limb and recommend them? It would depend on geography, groups and associations in common; frequency of contacts. Is meeting someone in person the deal breaker? Can we recommend someone based on the good character they have shown us rather than actual work experience? Can we assume the “all or nothing rule”: if they succeed in their personal life they will succeed in their work life. Last point to make- if we network by teaching and giving we can develop relationships both online and in person. Thanks for the first contact.
    Susan

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